Today flew by. They're all flying by. Part of this is because I often feel like I'm not fully present in my own operating. Almost as if my brain is asleep at the wheel. Then, finally, at about 11 PM, I feel my most awake and aware. My memories lock into place, my thoughts and ideas coalesce. That's why I drove home as fast as I could to write this entry. It can't really express how I'm feeling.
So, if you, dear reader, were to cite a length of time that you would consider a "long time", what would you say? A day, a week, a month, a year, a decade, more? The commitments of life seem to scale that way. High school, College, car loans, mortgages, marriage. Suddenly a year does not seem like a lot of time to me anymore.
The "new year" has started off with the usual mixed-bag honeymoon. Been doing well on walking and eating right. Been reading a lot and enjoying time with friends, but the writing has languished. Also, there's a commitment I made to write some things for dimfuture
's blog that's been hanging over my head. I need bursts of energy like this one I'm experiencing now to come more frequently. I need them to last longer too.
Work's been bearing the brunt of my sluggishness, though. Still struggling to be as productive as I know I can be. Also, it's dawning on me that I have a difficult time saying 'no' to people. I enjoy people's happiness so much that I can hardly turn down opportunities to make them happy. This does not prevent me from being happy in the short term, but combined with the flow of time and the ebb of energy, it keeps projects like writing on the back burner.
Bear with me while I pick away at the outer shell of my mind. I'll get better at it as time goes (quickly) by. If you could go back in time and change one decision you made in the past, what would it be?